The bride called me in tears. She had just put down the phone from talking with her mother, who was livid.
Early on Mother had insisted that her ex-college roommate be invited to the wedding, and so months ago she was sent a “save the date” announcement. Dutifully, the ex-roommate marked it on her calendar. She was also invited to the bridal shower and, although she could not attend, she sent a lovely gift.
As the date grew close Ex-roommate realized that no wedding invitation had arrived, so she gave Mom a call only to find out that she had been “cut” from the invitation list. She had sent a shower gift, she had turned down invitations for other events the same weekend, she had been looking forward to reconnecting with her old friend. She was not a happy camper.
It’s not that she didn’t understand. The groom and the bride had a long list of friends to invite and she was not on their direct friends list. However, it was an unfortunate circumstance and she ended up inconvenienced and with seriously hurt feelings… all of which she expressed to the bride’s mother, who passed the sentiments along to her daughter.
What to do? When she stopped crying, the red-faced bride called the ex-roommate and apologized for not letting her know the circumstances sooner. Then she called her mother and they “talked”.
The take away here is to be super-conscious of who you are inviting (and why). Be aware of the capacity of the room, and your budget, before sending out those “save the date” cards since, once sent, they are hard to retract.
When in doubt, don’t.
Tech is a very real part of your everyday life. And maybe you even met on Match.com (a lot of my couples have found each other on the Internet). But once they met, they put their computers down and started relating to one another; being with one another. One thing led to another and they ended up where you are: Getting married – to each other, not to their phones.
We use our phones to communicate, to set up meet-ups, to research wedding vendors, to keep track of when to be where. And if we lose our phone or the tablet crashes, its panic time.
No doubt about it, we’re definitely married to tech, but do you really want that kind of pressure in your wedding ceremony? What if the internet goes down in the middle of your “I do’s"? Did you? And can you remember the password?
Start now: During the planning process don’t forget to put the phone or the tablet down once in a while and remember why you are getting married. You love each other, you want to be with each other. So, really be with each other, talk to each other, talk about what you really want your ceremony to be; what you want it to feel like.
And then, pick your phone back up and look for an officiant who “fits” your style and personality; one who can and will personalize your ceremony so that it really is your dream come-true.
During the ceremony, in spite of all of the family and the guests and the wedding party and the vendors who are gathered around, when you say “I do” there are three of you standing there. Make sure your officiant is someone you want to have share that intimate and magical moment with you.
You don’t want to phone it in. They shouldn’t either.
Email or call me, I’ll make sure your ceremony is all about you, that it is written and presented in your style and clearly communicates who you are, individually and as a couple. Call me, I’d love to be part of your wedding.